


When did I abandon you?

by UAs_Fics



Category: South Park
Genre: M/M, One-Shot, death mention
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-12
Updated: 2018-08-12
Packaged: 2019-06-26 02:25:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,546
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15653835
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UAs_Fics/pseuds/UAs_Fics
Summary: Kenny just got out of the hospital after narrowly avoiding death. He should be happy! So, why does he seem so annoyed? Why does he claim Stan abandoned him?





	When did I abandon you?

* * *

* * *

An air of irritation had clung to Kenny the entire date. Stan tried asking earlier and was met with a shrug and a muttered 'nothing'. Something was wrong, and Stan didn't know what. As he sipped his soda, he went over the list of possibilities in his head for what must have been the hundredth time.

Kenny couldn't have had another fight with his parents or brother, since he always ranted to Stan about that. Maybe it was something to do with his sister. Kenny was more selective with any issues between him and Karen. No, it couldn't be that. Kenny had been talking pleasantly about her when he was getting ready for the date at Stan's house. Something to do with school or their friends? No, if it was something with them, Stan would have already heard about it through the grape vine. The only other possibility was that _he_ had done something to upset Kenny, but for the life of him Stan couldn't remember what.

When Stan came to the end of his list, he found he had no more answers than before.

He sighed and set his cup aside before leaning across the table. "Dude, seriously, what's wrong?" 

Kenny shook his head, pushing the bit of ketchup left in the small paper cup around with a fry. "It's nothing, Stan. I already told you."

Stan groaned. "It's not 'nothing.' What's the matter?" He reached across the table and set his hands on Kenny's wrist. He squeezed reassuringly with a soft smile. Kenny sighed through his nose.

"Alright, you caught me." He smiled back, but it was strained. "I'm still feeling a little under the weather. Nothing bad, just feeling tired."

Stan pursed his lips into a tight line. 

It started as just a cough that Kenny assured would clear up in a matter of days. A 'matter of days' turned to weeks, then a month, before Kenny finally collapsed and had to be taken to a doctor. The doctor diagnosed him with a severe lung infection, and Kenny had to stay at the hospital for treatment. 

Stan shuddered as he remembered him sick in that hospital room. The color had left his face and deep bangs formed under his eyes. His voice was hoarse every time he greeted Stan. At one point, about two weeks ago, the doctors were sure Kenny was at death's door, but almost as soon as they said there was nothing more they could do, he started to get better.

It was a miracle, really. Even the doctors couldn't explain how it happen, though Stan put little faith in the doctors at Hells Pass anyway. In fact, the date they were on was to celebrate Kenny's recovery.

"Did you remember to take your antibiotics?" Stan asked. "Do you need some more water or something? I think I have cough drops in my car somewhere."

Kenny shook his head. "I'm alright, Stan. I'm not going to get that sick again anytime soon. Promise."

Some of the tension in Stan's shoulders slacked in relief. "Alright, just remember if you ever need anything, I'm right here. I'm always here."

Just as quickly as the irritation had left, it returned to Kenny's face. For a fraction of a second, a scowl crossed his countenance. Stan opened his mouth to comment, but Kenny stood up abruptly.

He pulled his phone from his pocket then winced. "Shit, dude, I gotta go. I promised my parents I'd be home before four, and it's three-thirty." Kenny grabbed what was left of his fries and shoved them in his mouth. 

"Wait!" Stan jumped to his feet. "Let me drive you home."

Swallowing his half chewed fries, Kenny declined, "No, thanks though. I think the cold air will do me some good. They use to send people with Tuberculosis up to mountain towns like ours to cure them, you know."

Stan grabbed Kenny's arm. "I'll leave the window rolled down." He wasn't letting him walk in the cold, and they both knew it.

Kenny looked as though he was about to protest the idea, but relented with a sigh. "Fine, but I get the rest of your nuggets."

* * *

Kenny rested his head against the car window with his eyes shut and his breathing calm. Stan glanced at him as he waited at a stop light. For a heart beat, the image of Kenny, sickly and pale, replaced his boyfriend's form. Stan blinked hard, turning his gaze back to the front. 

He took a calming breath. As the light turned to green, he reached over towards Kenny.

"Hands on the wheel, Stan." Kenny muttered without opening his eyes. Stan's hand froze, hovering near Kenny's forearm. Kenny peeked his eyes open then coyly added, "Unless you're going for my dick. In which case, proceed." He raised his eyebrows flirtatiously.

Stan snorted a laugh. Whatever was bothering Kenny must have passed. He rested his hand on Kenny's thigh, but didn't move any closer towards his crotch, much to Kenny's joking complaints. After throwing a few increasingly salacious flirts back and forth, they finally rolled up to Kenny's driveway. 

Stan parked near the broken down car that had been there for as long as the two had known each other. As Kenny moved to unbuckle himself, he turned to Stan with an apologetic look.

"Sorry for being down today. Things have been kind of...well, you get what I mean, right?" Kenny waved his hand around to add extra commentary for his vague explanation. 

"Nah, it's fine. You nearly _died_ earlier this month; you have every right to be tired." Stan told him. Kenny's face was unreadable for a moment before it softened. He leaned away from the car door and towards Stan, going in for a good-bye kiss. Stan gladly leaned into the kiss, brushing some hair back behind Kenny's ear. His hand unconsciously went to fiddle with Kenny's earring.

In sixth grade, every boy had been thoroughly impressed when Kenny proudly came in with self - punctured holes in his ears and little, fake silver studs. In fact, Stan thought it was so cool than he wanted Kenny to pierce his ears as well. They made it as far as heating up the needle with a lighter before Stan chickened out.

When he gripped Kenny's ear lobe between his thumb and pointer, he was surprised not to find a stud there, or even a hole. He furrowed his brow and pulled back. 

"What's up with your piercings?"

Before Kenny could reply, someone slapped the roof of Stan's car. Both men jumped as a face appeared in the passenger side window. Kenny's brother, Kevin, looked into the car with his eyebrow raised.

Kenny rolled his eyes. "I guess I gotta go. Thanks for the date, dude." He pressed another, quicker, kiss to Stan's lips before pushing open the door, nearly hitting his brother in the gut as he did so, and getting out. Stan waited until Kenny made it inside his house before backing up and driving towards home.

* * *

Later that night, as Stan laid on his bed, scrolling idly through his twitter, he received a message from Kenny. He pushed himself up, scattering the homework he had abandoned a few hours prior.

 _'hey dude guess what'_ it said. Before Stan could reply, another text came in. _my parents are going to be gone tomorrow karen & kevin 2. u know what that means <3 _ A third and fourth text came in, but these were just a bunch of emoji and emoticons coming together to make several lewd hieroglyphic scenes. 

Stan snorted and quickly replied, _what time?_

* * *

Stan walked to Kenny's house instead of drove. It had never been a particularly long walk, and if any of the other McCormick's came home unexpectedly, it would be easier for Stan to make a quick escape if he didn't have a car to deal with. 

He waited at the train tracks, keeping a close eye around for anyone who might see him and jeopardize his mission. After a few moments, the door to Kenny's house opened, and a familiar head of blond hair popped out. He looked around until he spotted Stan beside the broke railroad sign. 

With a wide grin, he waved him over. It was clear. They had the house to themselves.

Gravel crunched under his shoes as Stan rushed over the tracks. Kenny ushered in him with his arm slung around his shoulders. He had barely shut the door before pressing a kiss to his neck. 

"You look cute," Kenny complimented, tugging absently at the shoulder seam of Stan's jacket.

"You look like you just woke up." Stan teased, pressing against his side. He nodded at his dishevelled hair and wrinkled shirt. 

Kenny shrugged. "How'd you guess? I meant to get up earlier, but the alarm clock I don't own didn't go off." He flashed a crooked smile, exposing the gap in his teeth where one had been knocked out years ago. "But I'm up now and ready to go." He let his hand slide down to rest firmly against Stan's lower back. 

"You'd better be." Stan put his hands on either side of Kenny's face. He kissed him then pulled back with a smirk, "We haven't fooled around at all since before you got sick. I'm surprised neither of us haven't exploded yet."

"There will definitely be exploding here today. Don't worry about that, dude." Kenny snickered. Filled with excitement, the two rushed through the house back towards Kenny's room. 

His room hadn't changed much since they were kids. Some of the posters had been swapped out, and a few pieces of furniture had been rearranged. One of the walls and a quarter of another had been painted a dark blue color before the free paint had run out. Finally, in the only fully blue corner, sat the men's destination, a queen-sized bed. 

Kenny considered it one of his best scores. All he had to do to get the bed frame and mattress was move it, and with his friend's help and Stan's car, they were able to do it with ease. One of the wooden legs may have gotten broken, but that was nothing some wood glue and brown duct tape didn't fix. 

Stan let himself be pushed back against the mattress, pulling Kenny down with him. He let out a low, shuddering breath as Kenny's hand slid along his side. He put his arms around his shoulders and pulled Kenny down into a kiss. 

"Missed this," Stan mumbled as they pulled apart. 

"Fuck yeah." Kenny nodded, the hand on Stan's side ghosting along his hip to his navel then started upwards. Just as Stan moved to mimic Kenny's actions, a knocking came from the front door.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Kenny groaned. He sent an apologetic smile at Stan. "Do you mind? Or we can keep going, see if they lea--" He was cut off by more, louder knocking and shouting. "Shit, fuck, never mind that last part, I guess."

Stan half sat up then ran a hand through his hair. "It's cool, dude. We're not that far." 

His hand lingered on Stan's stomach, fingers pressed against the warm skin, before Kenny sighed and stood. Stan watched him half run down the hall. 

He chuckled before looking around the room. He stared for a moment at one of the playboy fold-outs Kenny tacked to his wall before his eyes moved over to the window. In their rush, neither of them thought to pull the curtains shut. While most of the homeless had left the area, the occasional drifter still sometimes cut through the McCormick backyard, and the last thing Stan wanted was to be watched by some creep. 

He jumped off the bed and walked over. the curtains were really just repurposed sheets. They were long and dragged the floor and had a few more mystery stains than normal curtains should, but they did they're job. In one fluid movement, he shut the curtains. What Stan hadn't noticed, however, was the stack of magazines that had been set on one of the dragging ends of the curtains. 

The stack toppled over, scattering car and lewd magazines across the floor. Stan stooped down then restacked what was near him before reaching around for the others. The last couple had managed to slide under the bed, so Stan crawled on his hands and knees. He groped around under the bed until his hand hit something. He furrowed his brow and pulled it out. 

A shoe box.

Stan set the box in his lap. The box was from a name brand company, something too expensive for Kenny to afford normally, and something inside rattled like beads when he moved it. Definitely not shoes, then.

In the back of his head, he knew he shouldn't open the box. It was Kenny's, not his. If it was under the bed, then it was probably something Kenny didn't want anyone else to see. Opening it would be an invasion of privacy. Stan knew all of that, but his hand seemed to move of its own accord.

He opened the box and gasped.

Prescription bottles, orange with blue or white caps. Every one of them with pills inside. 

His stomach turned. Just like Stan did, Kenny also had trouble with his unhealthy vices. Stan kept a bottle of Jack in the back of his closet, while Kenny had a pack of cigarettes tucked in his backpack at all times. That wasn't new information to Stan, but as he read the labels, he found himself dismissing his assumption of what the pills were for.

Most of the pills weren't pain killers. Sure, there were some, but only one or two of the fifteen or so there. It seemed like a majority of them were antibiotics, a few anti inflammatory and some for insomnia. A few of the bottles had refill dates going back more than six years. Every single bottle had Kenny's name and address on it.

Stan read over the one with the most recent refill date. It had to be the antibiotic the doctors prescribed him after he was released from the hospital. It didn't look like a single pill had been taken.

"Fuck me." Kenny's voice carried down the hall. "If I have to give the old renter's forwarding address out one more time, I'm going to..." He trailed off as he entered the room. The color drained from his face the moment he saw the box in Stan's lap. 

Stan stared at him. "Kenny, what is this?" He shook the bottle.

"Stan, Stan please, just, close the box and put it back under my bed. It's nothing, I promise." He took careful steps forward. "Let's just forget you saw that and get back to messing around. Please." 

"No!" Stan pushed the box off and scrambled to his feet. "Kenny, what is all this? These are your medication, right? Why aren't you taking them?" Kenny stayed silent with his gaze downcast. Stan took a breath and stepped closer. He took Kenny's hand in one of his and squeezed reassuringly. "Look, dude, if you're having problems with anything, you can talk to me about it. I'm always here for you."

Kenny swung his head up. A mix of anger, bitterness, and sorrow commingled across his features as he shouted, "Bullshit! No, you're fucking not!" He tore his hand from Stan's and turned away. He swung his fist and hit the wall. 

"Kenny..." Stan swallowed hard. "I--"

"You know what the worst part is, Stan? I can't even get mad at you for abandoning me, because you don't even know that you did." Kenny's shoulders began to shake. 

"When did I abandon you?" Stan asked, trying to keep the hurt from his voice. He would never abandon Kenny. They were friends, they were boyfriends, and neither of those abandoned each other.

"Two weeks ago!" Kenny yelled. He turned. Tears streamed down his cheeks while a fire burned in his eyes. "I didn't miraculously get better, Stan. I fucking flat lined! I _died_! My lungs were way too fucked up to keep me going."

"But, that's not possible. You're alive now." Stan said, shaking his head. 

Kenny laughed bitterly. "Dude, we live in a town that has been invaded by zombies not once, but twice, we elected a fucking hand puppet for mayor, a festive holiday shit visits us every December, and me being immortal is what you think isn't possible?"

He groaned and slumped down to the floor. "Stan, listen, please, I know it sounds impossible, but it's true. I can't stay dead, no matter how much I want to. I'm cursed to die over and over and for everyone's memories of it to be changed. You don't remember it, but I called you. I know how it feels to die, so I called you when I knew I wasn't going to make it. Maybe it was selfish of me, but I didn't want to die alone this time. You hung up on me, Stan."

As Stan sat down next to him, Kenny sighed, leaning his head back and shutting his eyes. 

"I don't know why I expected any different. You did this to me before when we were kids." He rolled his head over towards Stan and opened his eyes. "I know you don't handle death well, but those were both seriously dick moves."

Stan opened his mouth, about to tell Kenny that that isn't what happened, but stopped.

Something in his gut told him there was truth to Kenny's story. Somehow, that all sounded familiar, like Kenny was telling an old story that he remembered more clearly than Stan did. For a second, Stan could almost remember Kenny's voice on the other end of the phone, pleading with him to come. 

As Stan stared into Kenny's eyes, something else stirred in the back of his head. He had always had some memories that never seemed quite right. There were gaps between events that the memories didn't seem to fit, leaving strange plot holes that almost hurt Stan's head to think about. 

All of those gaps involved Kenny. 

Why replace Kenny with Butters, then Tweek, if he was going to come back from his treatment in Europe in December? Why build a ladder to Heaven? So many 'why's suddenly made sense if Kenny had died. 

Stan's mouth went dry. "Oh, oh my...You've really died before, haven't you?" 

Kenny nodded grimly. "Yes. Thousands of times."

"Dude, what the fuck?" 

"Yeah, believe me, I know." Kenny chuckled darkly. He scooted closer to Stan. He lifted his arm to put around his shoulder, only to hesitate. He sent Stan an asking look. Slowly, Stan nodded. Kenny draped his arm down and pulled Stan closer. 

Stan pressed against him, resting his head on his shoulder. His head whirled with this new information. Kenny reached around with his free hand to card his fingers through Stan's hair comfortingly. He shut his eyes, focusing on the soothing feeling of being touched.

"Hey, dude?" 

"Yeah?"

"What is with all the pills?"

"Those? Isn't it obvious? If the doctors think I 'got better', they'll send me a prescription. Since I'm healthy, I don't need to take them, so I just keep them around for emergencies." He shrugged. "Never know when someone will step on a nail or something."

"And your earrings?"

A rumbling laugh filled Kenny's chest for a moment. "I don't get to keep them, the holes, I mean--and usually the studs, too. I just repierce them when I get back. Except for this time. Guess I had other things on my mind."

There was a bitterness in Kenny's last sentence that made guilt grab at Stan's stomach. He took a shaking breath before pushing himself to his knees. He placed his hands on either side of Kenny's face and stared down at him.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry I left you alone. I don't know if maybe I thought if I wasn't there, then it didn't happen or what, but you're right. That was a dick move, and I promise it won't happen again." 

Kenny blinked a few tears from his eyes before chuckling. "Alright. I forgive you, but, Stan," he set his hands on his hips, slipping his fingers between the waist band of his jeans, "believe me, I'm _super fucking_ ok with you knowing my secret and shit. This is a huge load off my mind, but we're here today to bone. I really want to get back on track." He flashed a flirtatious smile before pressing a kiss against Stan's collar bone. 

"Seriously? I learn one of my oldest friends and current boyfriend is literally a cursed immortal. I don't get a little more time to process this?" While Stan said this, he shouldered his jacket off and tossed it aside.

"I've learned it's better not to think too hard about this." Kenny shrugged, fiddling with the hem of Stan's shirt. 

He rolled his eyes in response before dropping his arms over Kenny's shoulders and leaning in to press a kiss to his lips. 

"I'm probably going to want more of an explanation about this." Stan admitted. "But, I think that can wait until a little later."

* * *

* * *

**Author's Note:**

> I really like Stenny, but I have a hard time writing both Kenny and Stan as characters. ;.; particularly when they have to play off each other romantically. Hopefully they didn't come off as too ooc! Also, our new house as like zero reception so I can't really research what kind of medications one would receive after leaving the hospital, so I apologize if any of what I listed is wrong!
> 
> Anyway, R&R, tell me what you thought! =D
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